The Dark Side of the Moon
by lenfaz
Summary: My take on the finale of 4B. Rating is M for strong language, some explicit content, violence and just plain dark narrative.
1. Hold me, Thrill me, Kiss me, Kill me

My take on the finale of 4B. This is the darkest piece I've ever written in my life.  
Rating is M for strong language, some explicit content, violence and just plain dark narrative.  
Let me know your thoughts. This has been an stretch out of my writing comfort zone, so I'm a little anxious.

* * *

**Hold me, Thrill me, Kiss me, Kill me**

* * *

_You don't know how you took it  
You just know what you got  
Oh Lordy you've been stealing  
From the thieves and you got caught_

The cabin was now filled in with a darkish purple smoke, her very own protection spell… It felt wonderful, the power, the thrill, the dominance.

_Fucking awesome._

Her hand closed on the dagger, her fingers gripping the handle tightly, seizing the upcoming power, anticipating the moment where she'd finish Gold and embrace the darkness entirely. He had wanted to fill her heart with darkness, she'd give him true darkness, true pain. She'd give him torture… _death_.

She felt his presence coming through the forest, standing almost by the barrier of the spell. He walked right through it, as she knew he would. She wanted to laugh at his face when he begged her to come back to the light.

She didn't turn around as he entered the cabin, but just stood there, her eyes fixed on Gold's figure gagged and tied to a chair.

"I thought they would send you…" She said.

"You thought right, love." He replied, a distinct edge in his voice.

She turned around and the sight in front of her made her smirk, raising one eyebrow in appreciation. "I didn't expect you to be wearing those clothes though."

He had dressed in his pirate garb, full clad in leather, his sinful red vest in full sight. The charms of his necklace tangling in his chest hair. She licked her lips as she felt the heat running through her body, directly to her core. She'd always had the same reaction but she'd never allowed herself to really _feel_ _it_.

"Well, that's the thing, darling. I really thought about what you might need right now…" He said as he approached her, swaging his body in her direction.

"And you think I wouldn't need a hero?" She asked.

"Oh, love, you and I both know that what you need, it's a _ruthless pirate_." He whispered next to her, his sinful mouth inches away from her face.

"Captain Hook has decided to come out and play?" She asked seductively.

"Would you let him?" He asked biting her earlobe.

She gripped the dagger tighter, biting back a moan. He grabbed her wrists with his hook and hand, pulling her to him, pressing his body full into hers, making her feel the bulge his leather pants did little to conceal.

"Oh no, don't hold back, Swan." He said, his tongue licking her neck, "_Not now." _

He bit her neck, his teeth marking her as his tongue licked the spot to sooth the pain. She didn't hold back on her moan this time.

"Oh… I like that sound." He said. "You have no idea what it makes to me. _What it makes me want to do to you…_"

"What?" She asked, her lips brushing his jaw, slowly caressing his stub, her free hand grabbing his hip and pulling him even closer to her, her hips grinding against his front, pleasure running through them.

"It makes me want to fuck you, _princess_." He said groaning, his hand going up her stomach to fondle her breast. "Right here, in this very cabin. _Right now_. It makes me want to take you and brand you as mine, thrusting hard and deep inside you while you beg for _more, _until you come undone under my arms." His hand went all the way down to her very core and he pressed it there, above her jeans. She moaned and bucked her hips against his hand.

He smirked ruthlessly at her. "Aren't you eager, Swan?" He asked, his hand pressing harder and moving against her, finding a rhythm that had her panting and moaning.

She looked at him with lust in her eyes, biting her lower lip as she kept moving against his hand. "I really thought you were going to come here to try to change my mind." She said between moans.

"Why would I do that, when I'm having so much fun?" He asked as he removed his hand, eliciting a reproachful gasp from her. "Why would I want to stop you when I get to have everything I have ever wanted?" He asked as his eyes drifted to Gold. "I get to have you, Swan; and I get to have my revenge on the crocodile. I _win_."

He smiled lasciviously before crashing his lips to hers, plundering her mouth like the pirate he was. He broke the kiss to whisper in her ear, "I really want to fuck you, _princess_." He admitted in a low, husky voice, making her whimper against him.

"Then don't stand on ceremony…" She replied, her hand cupping him over his leather pants. He groaned and bucked his hips against her hand.

"Do you want to do it with an audience?" He asked raising his eyebrows, while his eyes ventured towards Gold. "I don't have a problem, darling… but I'd rather have him freezing outside in the cold winter while I take my time pleasuring you…"

"Uhh." She said, her tongue licking his lips before kissing his jaw. "I like that idea." She flicked the hand that held the dagger and Gold puffed out of the room. "Just so you know, I am not releasing my hold on the dagger." She said.

"By all means, _don't_. It would be very interesting to see what your mind commands him to do when you come screaming my name." He said before kissing her again, his hand already starting to remove her clothes.

_Oh no, don't be shy  
You don't have to go blind  
Hold me, thrill me, kiss me, kill me_

He took her hard, deep, like he'd never done before. He toyed with her, lifting her all the way up to the edge to bring her back down and then up again, until she was begging and pleading and screaming for him. And then he made her collapse against him, dark magic and lust and rage wrapping them as he collapsed against her, breathless and panting.

"That was fucking incredible, Captain." She purred against his chest, the dagger caressing his thigh playfully. "How should I repay such attentions given to me?" She asked.

"They were my pleasure, Swan. You don't need to pay anything in return." He smirked, his hook toying with her hair.

"But I _want_ _to." _She said. "Surely there is something you want…"

"Let me play with you toy for a little while." He said, a ruthless, sadistic stare coming to his eyes, "I really want to enjoy the thrill of a torture. It's been a while..." He looked at her, "I can teach you a few things if you want."

"Mhmm…" She said. "Interesting… the thought of you torturing Gold is turning me on." She looked at him mischievously.

"Then let me _really _turn you on, darling." He replied, "It'll be an experience you'd never forget." He leaned to whisper in your ear, "Fuck you while his blood drips from my hands… can you imagine it?"

She moaned on his ear, her hand flickering again to bring back Gold as he pulled his pants up and put on his boats, leaving his chest bare. His hand reached out to her, palm up, waiting…

She hesitated for just a second before handing the dagger over to him.

"Thank you, milady." He said, his eyes greedily looking at her and then at the dagger in his hand. "I've waited centuries for this…" He turned around, Gold's ties suddenly gone, the gag out of his mouth.

"Now, _crocodile_, we'll have some fun." Hook said. "_Lick my boots, you coward." _He commanded, a ruthless smile on his face, his lopsided grin making Emma caress her thighs in anticipation.

He could sense the crocodile's humiliation, and it was a powerful thing, "How does it feel, crocodile? To have someone command you to do things you despise? To loathe yourself for the things they made you do? To lose your will?" He said, his anger seeping through him. He stood tall and strong, enjoying the view of the man at his feet. "You were always a coward, a poor excuse of a man. How does it make you feel, knowing that I finally won? That your life is coming to an end and that I will stand strong getting everything while you _die_ painfully?"

He circled the man, forcing him to the floor with the dagger, kicking him forcefully with his boot. "How does it feel to keep losing your women? You lost Milah to a pirate, you lost Belle to a thief." He smirked. "You know what your pretty wife is doing now? She's getting thoroughly pleasured by her new man, screaming his name while she comes with a force she'd never experienced before."

He bent on one knee, looking directly at Gold's eye. "And you know why I know this? Because it's the same thing that happened with _Milah_. She never felt anything with you; you couldn't even elicit a moan from her. How does that make you feel? That your women had to look elsewhere to finally get pleasure? Milah used to scream my name in tears, pleading me to never stop, admitting that she'd never had you making her feel a tenth of that what I could make her feel just with my hands."

He laughed ruthlessly, "I took you wife, crocodile. I took your son's former lover now." He got next to Gold's ear and whispered, "And I'm pretty sure I've just made her scream in a way your son never did."

He got up, his hand playing with the dagger as he brought it to his eyes. "You took Milah away from me. You took my hand. You took my heart. You tried to take Emma into the hat. And now… you dare to try to fill her heart with darkness?"

He looked at Gold, his eyes burning with hatred. "Do you really think I'd let that happen, Dark One? _That I wouldn't protect her_?"

The words finally sank in Emma, but as she raised her hand to act, it was a second too late. Killian had been faster than her, pouring the squid ink quickly towards her while never letting go of the dagger, freezing her to the spot.

He turned around, facing Gold. "Do you really think I'd let her shove this dagger in your heart and condemn herself?" He took one last look at Emma, his stance changing from the ruthless pirate to the Killian Jones that had vowed to see the best in her, before turning around and facing Gold.

"Tic tock, crocodile." He said as he shoved the dagger into Gold's heart.

Magic burst through them all, the ripple effect releasing Emma.

"What have you done?" She cried at him. "_Killian, what have you done_?"

"I did what had to be done, Swan." He said, a sad smile in his face. "I played you, love."

"_Why_? So they could live? So they could have their happy endings and keep thinking they are above everyone else? Above _you_? Do you know they doubted you the second you went to Ursula?" She spat at him, tears on her face. "And you are willing to sacrifice for them?"

"For _them_?" He scoffed. "Oh no, Swan." He said, his eyes looking at her as she was the sea and he was drowning on her. "Never for them. For _you_. _Only for you_."

She looked at the air changing around them, all the darkness that have been seeping out of her and into the dagger and now it was wrapping all around him.

"I did this to save _you_." He replied as the darkness filled him in and the letters in the dagger showed a new name: Killian.

_"I love you, Swan." _


	2. Total Eclipse of the Heart

**Total Eclipse of the Heart**

**_Once upon a time there was light in my life  
But now there's only love in the dark_**

_ "I love you, Swan." _

As the words left him like a helpless sigh of a future lost and broken promises; he felt the darkness sink through him. It was powerful and unfamiliar. He was no stranger to darkness, it was like an old friend of his, his solely companion for centuries. Yet, this was different… as magic ran through this body, darkening his thoughts and blackening his soul; he felt his senses awakening, power running through him. He didn't like it. He would not allow himself to like it. He'd prepared his mind and soul for this and he would overcome this obstacle as he so fiercely fought so many others in his life.

He lifted his head to look at her, sensing her light magic so strongly that it made his skin itch. There were tears in her eyes, sadness in her heart. He could feel it all, and it sank him deeper in the dark pit of his soul, a strong desire to take her with him: into the darkness and finally together. Just the two of them, and nothing else.

But he fought through the desire as he'd fought through the raging storms at sea; pulling himself out his own thoughts, knowing this was the hardest battle. His internal battle, between the selfish part of himself that would want to keep her at all costs and the part that had sworn to be the best version of himself she'd chosen to see.

And he will be the best in him for her. _Always for her._

**_Every now and then I get a little bit terrified  
And then I see the look in your eyes_**

He reached to put the dagger that now held his name in his back pocket. He looked around to find his discarded shirt and quickly moved to take it, putting in over his head hastily. He found his coat and also took it, leaving his red vest discarded on the floor.

She was looking at him in shock, still processing what had happened. Her eyes were now focused on Gold's dead body lying on the floor.

"Emma, we have to go…" He said gently, as gently as he could, his hand aching to touch her, but he resisted the urge.

She didn't respond, her eyes lost and vacant. "Swan…" He stated, firmly this time. She looked at him and he spoke clearly, his eyebrows rising. "We have to go, the protection spell must have broken and they'll be here any minute now. I don't know how to cast another one." He admitted smiling sadly, wanting with everything in him to shield them from the outside world. We didn't want witnesses for what came next.

The moment he let his mind wander to those thoughts, he felt a ripple of darkness and power run through him, a blast expanding to encase the cabin.

"Magic is emotion." She slowly said, looking at him. "You just have to feel it…" She finished sadly, a tear escaping her eye.

He silently nodded… looking at her, his heart breaking at her sadness.

"I'm not sorry, Swan." He said, his eyes boring into hers, his heart fighting his inner battle one more time, keeping one thought in his mind as the beacon that would guide him towards his final fate. _Protect her._

"We don't have much time left, I don't know how much I can fight this, love." He admitted sadly, sighing. His arms stretched towards her, his hand on the open space between them, "Take my hand, Swan, we have to get to the town line." He asked. She didn't move, her reproachful eyes looking at him in disbelief.

"I won't puff you against your will, Swan. Please take my hand." He pleaded, his heart breaking. "Emma, I _beg_ you."

She took his hand and he felt the magic running through her veins, so distinct, so unfamiliar. Warm, pure, lovely. He wanted to absorb it completely and live forever in that warmth, in that bright light that could light his poor, dark heart. It would be so easy to pull her to him like a magnet, to suck her magic with his hand, his lips, his body, to take her and her magic and tie them to him. But he couldn't. He had vowed to himself that he would not do it, no matter how big the urge, how irresistible, how tempting. He would not succumb.

He took a deep breath and tried to concentrate, envisioning their destination. He felt the magic tugging and pulling them, his eyes blanking and the next second they were at the town line.

She looked at him, "Why are we here?"

"Because we have to finish this, love. Once and for all." He sighed, pulling the dagger out of his pocket, looking at his name on it.

"You are the Dark One." She stated, her voice broken. "You went there and lied to me, _played me_, only to kill Gold and take his power for yourself." There was anger in her voice, rage shaking her to the core.

"It was the only way to save you." He said calmly, knowing she had to go through these emotions until she could finally see that this was the only way.

"You didn't even _try_ to stop me, to convince me to give up!" She spat at him.

"You were too far gone by the time I reached you, Emma. You were not going to listen to me. I knew it, I could feel it." He scratch behind his ear, the dagger carefully balanced in his hand. And then he looked at her, dark remorse in his eyes. "So I had to do it, I had to play _your_ game to best you. I've been trapped in the darkness for three centuries, Swan." Self-deprecation invaded his voice. "You were never going to best me at that, love."

"Did _they_ put you up to this? What did they say to get you to agree to this?" She asked, trying to control the hurt in her voice. "They played you Killian, making you sacrifice to save their selves." She spat the words hurtfully.

He sighed and looked at her calmly. "They didn't know, Swan. I told them I was going to convince you, that there was hope." He took a deep breath, his voice taking a regretful tone. "Only Belle knew. _I had to tell her the truth_… that if I couldn't reach you, I'd kill the Rumpelstiltskin myself." He looked at her, a broken sigh escaping him. "She deserved to hear it from me."

"And now what?" She asked, her eyes dwelling with unshed tears rooted in rage and despair.

He took a deep breath, bracing himself for her reaction, "Now I leave, Swan. I cross the town line and all this power fades." His hand moved the dagger around, directing it to her. "And you take the dagger and find a way to destroy it. For good."

"You don't have to leave… Killian, we can figure this out…" Her voice was a soft and weak plea, but he could feel the magic bursting through her veins, speaking louder than any word or gesture had ever done. It made the magic in him run higher through his veins, begging him to take her. Once again, he fought the urge to lean into the darkness and take her with him, but his resolve was weakening. He didn't have much time left.

"And risk your safety, Swan? Or everybody else?" He looked at hear, defeat and despair in his eyes. "I don't know how to control this… I'm barely hanging on as it were." He whispered.

"We can ask the Blue Fairy. I'm sure she knows of something…" She offered weakly, desperate for a solution he already knew did not exist.

"Do you really trust her, Swan?" He asked earnestly. "_Because I don't._ Not with this…" He trailed off, sighing. "This is too powerful, too tempting. Honing this type of power can break the purest of souls, Swan."

"So who do you trust?" She asked feebly.

He looked at her, his undying faith in her deeply reflected in his eyes, and she could feel how his dark magic was rising just at the thought of her._ "You, _Swan, and not because you are the Savior, but because _I know you_, lass. And I have yet to see you fail, love." He smiled brightly at her, even though it was sad smile. "And _Belle, _because I know she'd do _anything_ she can to destroy this wretched dagger that took everything from her." He looked at her, tears coming to his eyes. "Tell her I'm sorry; tell her there was no other way. Tell her I'd have never caused her this pain if I could have avoided it." His voice shook a little, before he took a deep breath.

He tossed the dagger up, making it flip in the air. He caught the blade with his hand and pointed the handle to her.

"Take it." He said. "Take the dagger, Swan. I trust you with this, love." He vowed to her. He'd given himself completely to her at this point; the dagger was just the final piece of the puzzle.

"What about you? If we destroy the dagger, we don't know what can happen." She said hesitant.

He smirked sadly. "We don't know for sure, but I am not counting my chances to survive as very high, love." He said as if it was nothing, one more task to fulfill.

**_Once upon a time I was falling in love  
But now I'm only falling apart  
And there's nothing I can do  
A total eclipse of the heart_**

"NO!" She said, tears running through her face, unable to control them. Her magic rose and fell in waves as she sobbed, and the magic in him rose in an attempt to reach hers, and he took one step towards her before stopping himself.

"Swan…" He said.

"You promised!" She said. "Don't you remember, Killian? _I can't lose you too_!" She yelled, her heart breaking, her soul crashing against the harsh reality she had to face. She was going to lose him. She'd lost him. And it was her fault.

"Emma, there was no other way. We've looked everywhere. _I _looked everywhere. I have plotted and played every single scenario in my head, trying to find a way out. There is none." He sighed, his heart breaking at her tears, his magic begging to be released, to surrender to his desires, to reach out and pull hers like a magnet. He ran his hand through his hair, commanding himself to be strong. To hold on. A little longer, just a little longer. And then he'd be free. Then he could let go as a different darkness would sink in him: the darkness of a life without her.

"So I'm supposed to stay here and find a way to destroy the dagger, knowing that it would likely _kill_ you?" She screamed in sobs, raw pain coming through her voice and he could feel it all, breaking him and weakening him. "I can't do this, Killian."

"It's the only way, Swan." He said, his eyes pleading with her. "I don't have much time left. Each second that passes makes it harder for me to fight this, to resist so darkness doesn't win and I pull you with me into this, tying you to me and making all this worthless." He explained, desperation reaching his voice. He was hanging by a single thread of sanity, and he knew it. He could feel his resolve weakening, his need to have her twirling strong in him. "If that happens, I'd be pulling us both into doom." His teary blue eyes looked at her desperately. "You have to let me go, love. And if it means I die, then let me die in peace, Swan."

She looked at him speechless, the dagger hanging loosely in her hand, crying in defeat. He averted his gaze.

"Goodbye, Emma." He said as he started to cross the line, not being able to look back.

**_And I need you now tonight  
And I need you more than ever  
And if you only hold me tight  
We'll be holding on forever  
And we'll only be making it right  
'Cause we'll never be wrong together  
We can take it to the end of the line  
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time_**

"NO." She said as she held the dagger tight in her hand; making him stop and freeze in the spot. "You won't leave me."

He tried to fight, but it was pointless… He had no control as he turned around and faced her. She had the dagger on her hand, her eyes blazing with determination.

"Not like this…" She pleaded. "I can't lose you like this. I can't trade your life for mine. Your life for their happiness."

His heart broke one more time, and he wondered how many times a heart could break before it shattered in a million pieces, leaving no place to feel anymore. She commanded him to her, and he felt himself closing the space between them, as he stood facing her, invading her personal space as he'd done it so many times on his own free will.

Her green eyes seemed to have dried out of tears, of pain, of emotion, as they stared blankly to him. But he could feel the magic running underneath her skin, the pull even stronger as he was so close to her and everything was intoxicating. It had always been intoxicating, but now it was impossible to hold on.

He looked at her, his blue eyes pleading again, his heart on his sleeve, his entire being begging him to just _take_ her, while he held on the last shred of resolve he had left.

"Let me go, Swan. Please let me go, love." He whispered as his hand cradled her face, his eyes boring into hers. He felt her uneasiness, her guilt, her hurt over his sacrifice and he tried to convey his feelings. "As long as you are alive, and safe, that is all that matters to me. That is my happy ending."

She looked at him, her hand mirroring his as she slowly caressed his face. "But don't you understand? You were my happy ending…" Her heart broke in a million pieces, her chance at a happy ending lost again, lost for good, lost forever at the hands of a fate written for her before she was born. A fate she thought she could escape, but she was not good enough, clever enough. She'd lost again. "You, the only one that cared for me: the only one for whom I was enough. Just me, just Emma."

His final words shattered her, as he professed his final vow to her, "You were more than enough, Swan. You were _everything_. You _are_ everything." He looked at her, his resolve almost gone, "More than I'd ever deserved. I love you, Emma."

"I love you, Killian." She said as she closed the space between them, and the need to have at least one final kiss broke his resolve. He leaned in, capturing her lips with his, his hand tangling her hair and pulling her to him one last time. One final time.

He felt his magic tugging and pulling him into her like poison, and there was dark running through his veins, flooding all the space between them and sneaking into her. He thought about pulling away, but he felt her resolve as she pulled him tighter to her and he couldn't let her go.

And then there was light crawling through the crevices, washing the darkness away and filling him with warmth, joy, _love_. He felt her magic continue to invade him, finding every spot where the darkness was hiding and forcing it out of him, a magic storm of purple, red, white, green and every color in the rainbow wrapping them as they lost themselves in each other, in their happy ending.

And then the darkness was gone from him and she rested her forehead in his, breathing deeply. She looked at the dagger in her hand, that somehow felt lighter than before and it was a blank blade, his name erased from it.

Her green eyes lifted to him, shining, "It seems you missed one very important scenario." She whispered to him.

"It seems so." He said, his hand tugging her hair behind her ear as he bit his bottom lip. He looked at her and felt the need to pull into her. But there was no darkness compelling him to do it, just his love for her. His never-ending need to pull her into his arms and never let her go. He brushed his lips to hers, kissing her softly before looking at her with a smug grin.

"What?" She asked.

"I was right, Swan: I have yet to see you fail, love." He said proudly.

She smiled against his lips, "I love you."

"And I love you."


End file.
